he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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