Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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