Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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