Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
