if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize