i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
