I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
