Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
