I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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