Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
