Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
