What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
