.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
