i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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