if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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