Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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