i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
wow bdsm is so cute
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
