I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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