I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
