we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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