I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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