the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
