Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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