Duck Duck Cougar?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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