Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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