He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I pour the whiskey from now on
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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