I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
