When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
