Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
