Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is this the sara with the beer cane?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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