did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
