i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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