He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
