And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
