I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
babies were throwing up all over the place
this beer tastes like vomit already
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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