Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
