It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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