i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
