We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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