he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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