My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize