It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Can I color on your dick again?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
