Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
