I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
