your thong is hanging out like whoa
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
