I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
