everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
