is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
