I like to think it a success when the cops are called
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
