You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
