Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
