btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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