the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
