she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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