Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
