SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize