I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
