he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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