Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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