New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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