Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
