I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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