So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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