Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
and she was petting her beer can
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I would fuck him just for his dog
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
