Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
